Reflections: Lakbay-Aral in the southern part of Cebu

I HAVE NEVER toured the entire southern part of Cebu. But not on April 19, 2012 when we had our Lakbay-Aral with our Dean-Professor Cleope of Silliman University. Speak of Cebu and images of the Sto. Niño , the province’s patron, come to mind. And so does the valiant Lapu-Lapu, sweet mangoes, the famous lechon, guitars and beaches. But it is more than that. Cebu is a special and beautiful place. It is also my home.

A trip down south-eastern Cebu is a trip into a history of blood, predation and the Cebuano’s attempt to defend themselves at the onslaught of Muslim slave raiders during the middle of the 17th to the middle of the 19th centuries. The spectacular Spanish colonial era churches of Argao, Boljoon and Oslob remind the visitors that these were once fortress-churches, edifices that were fenced with thick and high walls that protected the community from these marauders.

In an effort to preserve Oslob’s heritage and inculcate to the young minds the importance of preserving our culture and heritage, Oslob went beyond the usual theme park as it displays to the public a park where one can view the grand old church and see the cuartel and the bantayan sa hari.

However, it is a little known fact that complementing these fortress-churches was a network of baluartes, watchtowers, which can still be found along the coast of this island province. Still unrealized is the fact that it’s only in Cebu where the most number of existing baluartes in the country can be found. Structures that looked out at sea and at the sight of the raiders’ prahus alerted the townspeople.

In the case of southeastern Cebu, according to the history I have known, Fray Julian Bermejo, parish priest of Boljoon in the ealry 19th century, constructed a chain of these defensive networks that stretched from Carcar to Santander that “telegraphed” through smokes the impending attack. Within minutes, the church bells in this stretch rang out to call on the people to prepare and seek refuge. So effective was this system that in 1815, the townspeople of Oslob were able to repel one such attack and was peaceful ever since. These prompted them to relocate the town to it’s present site from their fortified settlement in Daanglungsod which are now in ruins but still breathtaking.

The importance of these watchtowers and the impact it posed to past and present settlers remain to be priceless. It served its essence and perhaps will be forever known for its prestige and grandeur. Truly, I had my fair share of history upon my visit in those places not mentioning our visit to the “hablon” makers in Boljoon where I was able to buy one, thanks to NCCA and Dr. Cleope in particular. And as we head back, we stopped by Argao wherein we witnessed the baking of delicious “torta.” We even had the chance to get a free-taste. It was so yummy that some of us even bought few pieces as pasalubong.

Then, we came to a popular pilgrimage destination of Marian devotees in Cebu which is Mary’s shrine in the village of Simala in Sibonga. Simala, is a place for people who believes in miracles, this place has been known to be miraculous. The Monastery of the Holy Eucharist is a church in Sibonga for the Marian devotees. The church is very popular among believers not only because it is considered the home of the image of the miraculous Virgin but also because the place is truly amazing and spectacular. The Monastery is the place where the ‘Mga Monghe ni Maria’ or Monks of Mary live.

As you go inside Simala, you will see different letters for Mama Mary, giving thanks to her for the different things that happened to different people, like they are thanking, that they had been able to walk, able to see and many more. Furthermore, from students, they thanked that they had passed their board exams. Inside the church, you will see a lot of things on display as a proof of Mother Mary’s miracles to the lives of the devotees. The place is very peaceful and it is a good place to show your faithfulness to Mama Mary, although it is far from the City. Most people who visit Simala Church, will have their wishes granted. Others will have their lives changed and experience different other miracles.

As I observed, the whole place is still in the process of improving its structure and they are working on expanding the place to make more tourists visit the place. The monks are now building their monastery at the side of the church but due to some financial constraints, it will take some time before it will rise. However, it is incredible how the place had developed from a simple hut to what it is right now.

The shrine is located inside an imposing and huge 3-level concrete structure that Fra. Ma. Martin call as Sanctuary Castle of Mama Mary, which also houses the Monastery of the Holy Eucharist Church.

Fra. Ma. Martin, one of the Marian monk caretakers of the shrine, said they started their mission in Simala in 1996, but pilgrims started flocking in large numbers to Mary’s shrine beginning in 2005. This was mainly due to what has been reported as miraculous incidents involving the Virgin’s image that was said to have cried tears.

Mary’s shrine occupy a big portion of the castle. Pilgrims line up and wait for their turn to address their prayers and petitions to what they consider miraculous images of Mary in the shrine.

As I mentioned earlier, inside Mary’s shrine are glass-covered cabinets that hold letters and keepsakes attesting to the miracles that the Virgin Mary has worked in the lives of the devotees. The letters thank the Virgin for healing grave illnesses and helping in work or school matters, among other things.

Sculptures of the Virgin Mary as well as Jesus (in various ages) and Joseph also decorate the shrine. A devotional museum displays different Marian devotions as well as costumes of Mary.

Fra. Martin said pilgrims consider the Birhen sa Simala miraculous so they make a visit there part of their devotion. Mary’s shrine, according to Fra. Martin, is open from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Except for him and one other monk, who oversee the running of the shrine, the others do not enter the convent since this is part of their penitence. He said the monks have been developing the abandoned hills of Simala since 1996 through deep prayers, sacrifices, and manual labor.

Devotees or guests who want to check out this shrine must not wear sleeveless shirts and dresses or shorts for they will not be allowed inside. They must also be prepared to remove their footwear before entering Mary’s prayer room.

On the castle grounds is a replica of the well of Nazareth, where Mary was supposed to have fetched water for her family.

 From all these reflections, I came to ponder that the cultural heritage of a nation represents its collective identity – national, regional and local.  It speaks to the historical experiences and contributions of mankind and the values that have come to define a nation’s  unique place in the world.  There is no more sure way to instill pride, inspire civic responsibility, and strengthen social cohesion than to celebrate and preserve one’s cultural heritage.

Revisit the past

Take a peek at this breathtaking sight. Reminisce the old times right here at Oslob.

Don’t Prolong Breakup Pain

7 Mistakes That Prolong The Misery Of A Breakup

Breaking up is hard to do. What can be even more difficult than the actual split is the aftermath: getting over the loss and trying to start fresh. Many people can get stuck after a breakup by finding excuses to stay in contact with their former lover.

In her new book, Getting Past Your Breakup, Susan J. Elliot says that a rule of “No Contact” with an ex is necessary to fully heal and grieve after a tough breakup. Although she understands how difficult this notion can be (she has personal experience in the department of contacting exes), she says, “in order to truly get past your breakup, you need to separate emotionally, physically, and psychologically from the relationship, and the primary way to do that is to stop talking to your ex.”Read: Stay Together or Break Up? How To Decide Now

In her blog, GettingPastYourPast, Elliot learned from people who struggled with contacting exes. She found seven major excuses that we use in order to rationalize remaining in touch.

1. Why can’t we be friends? This sounds nice but in reality an ex does not make a true friend, especially immediately after the breakup.

2. I must have closure. Closure can be difficult to obtain no matter how many conversations one has. The best closure can come from resisting the urge for dialogue and moving on.

3. I just need to make sense of it all, and I just have one more thing to say before you go. Another version of closure and another reason to stay in contact when in reality this just gives your ex another opportunity to hurt you. Not fun.

4. I want to be available for reconciliation. Wanting to get back together is a fair feeling to have. Even if you do end up reconciling, the relationship will undoubtedly be different. It is still important to take some time without speaking in order to mourn the relationship and contemplate how you really feel.

5. I just need to give his stuff back. Do it quickly, in the first couple days. After that, use one of our many mail services.

6. I miss the physical intimacy. And your ex is familiar because you know him or her (and it won’t increase your “number”). But again, this is just prolonging the inevitable and will keep you stuck in the past. Time to cut off the ex and find someone new (or maybe even just yourself) to get jiggy with.

7. We run in the same circles. If this is the case, you won’t be able to help running into your ex, but that does not mean you need to get in touch afterward. Keep your conversations polite, brief and away from anything that can bring up negative feelings from the past. Obviously easier said than done.

So while our natural reaction to a breakup may be to keep in touch, whatever the reason, in order to successfully move on, the No Contact rule is a good place to start. No matter how much we want to rationalize, the sooner we stop talking to our ex, the faster we’ll move on.

-Your Tango

Love & Relationship

All relationship begins and ends with love. First, it starts with falling in love and then ends up with falling out of love. Oftentimes, lovers do not know the real and true essence of love. They say that because of love there is jealousy, because of love there are fights, because of love, there is misunderstanding and because of love, there is insecurity.

Now let me tell you – anyone who thinks this way about love doesn’t really have the right to mistake love out of this childish thoughts. The root cause of these instincts about love is immaturity that is why many relationships fail.

When love is present in the atmosphere of a certain relationship, there is jealousy; these is because love would lead and guide you to the right words to say and right things to show making your partner cherish each moment he spends with you, there is no insecurity because love will guarantee and secure everything about your relationship as long as you allow the air to blow the letters LOVE.

When there is love, quarrels will be minimize. Through the miracles of love, everything would turn out just the way you wanted it to be.

Love shields a relationship from misunderstanding. It teaches us to value the essence of maturity. Some people say that when you love someone you have to fight for that love in order to preserve that relationship. But then I say this mistake is another mistake. For love is letting go and it is not holding on. Let’s put up this way, when you insist someone to love you, you’ll never feel the authenticity of love. It is only when you let go that you learn to fathom how love should be.

Love in a relationship knows no demand nor expectations for love comes the way it has to. It is not only happy nor it is always lonely for love is a lesson that we always learn from it.

Love knows no boundaries, it is an explicit manner of extending 100% of your concern, patience, and understanding to your partner. But then love has its own limit, it is amoral, love knows what is right from wrong. Here is another misconception about love in a certain relationship – They say that when you love someone you must be willing to give your own self. But come to think of it, what is the connection of between giving up your virginity from loving your partner?

I should say that love is different from intimacy. There are so many ways to show your love to your partner. Sex is never a resort of proving one’s love or if you say so, therefore I conclude that you are not looking for love but “lust”. Moreover, love is never a risk like putting your studies and family at risks just because of your lover, rather, “love is sacrifice”. It weighs every decision and equally divides its time and interest between the people involve and it’s alma mater too.

Love makes a perfect relationship, we are the only one who makes or cause its imperfection. Hence, never make experiments out of love, involve yourself with love in a relationship when you think you are “mature enough” and when you already qualify for having all the rights in entering a relationship…….

—— YOU WANT A FIGHT???!!! ——

How will you seriously answer someone in the following situations given?

what if someone insults you and tells you this:

1. You’re so arte.
•-> ang masuya, ma-dead!

2. I’m way smarter than you.
•-> char.com/kever_chaka

3. Your ex likes me.
•-> it’s natural! ang basurero ganahan jud ug basura 😀

4. You’re dumb in history.
•-> when it repeats, you’ll be next!

5. FASTER!
•->….chillax.. take it slow.. so slow.. =p

6. You’re so mean!
•->… and you’re twice as much..!

7. You want a fight?
•->.. no time for losers…! get it?!

8. Seems like you’re afraid.
•-> yeahhh… ‘coz i saw yar face in mah mirror!

9. he/she loves me more!
•-> comparative is yours, superlative is mine.

10. Your grades are so low!
•-> look who’s talking!

WHAT IF THE GUY/GIRL THAT LIKES YOU TELLS YOU THIS?
1. You’re my crush.
•-> it’s obvious. (Charring!)

2. I don’t love you.
•-> go away. and don’t bring regrets later.

3. I love you.
•-> shhhh.. i can’t hear it. Louder pleezz. haha

4. Can I copy your assignment?
•-> sure… u want some tutorials after?

5. I like your friend.
•-> you know what, he said he doesn’t like you. (devil’s smile)

6. Can I sit beside you?
•-> better sit now before somebody gets it. naks!

7. You look cute when you smile.
–> kaya nga aq nka-smile eh… dahil seo! uuyyyy..

WHAT IF YOUR PARENTS SAY THIS?
1. Go home early.
•-> .. (arrived early next morning) you said “early”.. this is early..

2. Oh, so you’re good at dancing?
•-> san pa magmamana, eh di sa ina. (wee)

3. You can’t join classes today.
•-> hwwaatt!? grrrr… (sulod sa kwarto then ambak2x sa katre!) haha

4. You’re not allowed to have a boyfriend/girlfriend
•-> yes mom. (big grin)

5. Why are you so pissed?
•-> talk to my lawyer. (aguyyy) taray… (dapog jud daun ni)

6. Why are you so late?
•-> coz ur wristwatch is so advanced! duh!

7. Why are your grades low?
•-> kuwang man gud allowance ma.. u know, lisod mag-concentrate pag gutom.. haha

Light Bulb

i just have to say it, there’s no denying that we learn so much about cultural education here at CNU..

Quote of the Day…

Quote of the Day

“carry yourself in such a way that when the people of the world are sitting, you would be standing… and when the world is standing, you will stand out… and when the world stands out, you will be outstanding… and when the world dares to be outstanding, you will be the standard.”

Male Confessions

here i am again doing the same routine. sitting with my laptop in front of me. i really don’t know which site to browse.. facebook.. friendster.. and some other freaky sites which make me go crazy and sad all at the same time.

as i surf each and every site i open, i always come across with different faces of people telling different things and sharing various kinds of experiences.. all with the same bottom line: they want to love and feel loved. haaayyy 😦 kakainggit nga minsan eh! seeing those people who have found their true love… they seemed to be so happy with their lives… minsan naman, i see a lot of other people searching for the so called “love”… parang nakaka-relate ako sa kanila.. haha.. ewan! it’s one thing that i don’t understand.. ayaw ko ‘yong taong may gusto sa akin… kasi nga, gusto ko ‘yong tao na obviously, hindi naman ako type… grrr!

it is just so hard.. simply and truly hard to find the one that you will love and will love you in return. i have experienced a few of those moments.. ‘yong may nagmamahal at nag-aalaga sa akin pero in the end, napupunta pa rin sa wala ang lahat. bakit kaya ganon? ?_?

i remembered a point in my life nung may nakilala ako sa isang mall sa cebu.. i saw that person sa isang outfit store at may tinitinginan siyang damit that time. at first look pa lang, attract na attract na ako sa kanya. maputi, makinis at cute din talaga. ‘yon, sinundan ko siya pababa sa escalator… the feeling was intense during that time. kumakalabog ‘yong heart ko at para bang nasa full throttle na lahat ng body system ko hahaha… so, i came near at nagtanong ng number niya.. (kapal) ^_^… para namang natakot siya at hindi nakapag-isip, binigay niya ‘yong number niya sa akin, sabay tanong ko sa name niya. haaayyy at ‘yon! naging textmate kami sa madaling salita. during that same night, niligawan ko siya over the fone at walang ka-anu-ano eh sinagot naman niya agad ako.

…..our relationship went for only five days… kung kelan ko ginawa ang lahat upang magkalapit pa kami eh yun naman ang time na iniwan niya ako sa simpleng dahilan lamang… at ‘yun ay gusto niyang mag concentrate sa studies niya. it was a painful break up… binigyan niya ako ng letter at dun niya inexplain kung bakit kailangan namin maghiwalay.. wala akong magawa kundi palayain siya. after that incident, hirap na hirap ako mag-move on… lagi ko siya naiisip… 4 months ang lumipas, muntik ko na sana siyang nakalimutan nang bigla siyang nagparamdam ulit. ganun pa rin, sa text sinabi niya na nagsisisi siya sa ginawa niya.. sana nga raw may chance pa.. ako naman, dahil mahal ko pa rin, ay nakipagbalikan agad sa kanya. we went on for months and months.. parang perfect relationship talaga. every week kami nagkikita.. lagi kaming nagbibigayan ng letters at binilhan pa namin ang isa’t isa ng singsing… dumaan ang ilang monthsary.. birthday niya at birthdy ko, pasko at new year.. lahat ng pangyayari ay masaya nang bigla na lang nagbago ang lahat… isang araw…. 😦

(to be continued)